I can never fall asleep anymore, so much worry haunting my mind refusing to subside not even for a moment just so I can find some peace. The boy is snoring, passed out after too many drinks to notice I can’t fall asleep. I scroll through Facebook reading the latest news about the people I have interacted with, learning about birthdays I didn’t care to remember and notifications from people who are more strangers than friends. Nothing really matters until I read a post from a high school friend to another friend of an engagement. An engagement to an ex boyfriend of mine from years and years ago. And it struck a strange cord with me, these people, people who I’ve loved now are getting married. So many people I know are mister and misses, but I’m not even remotely able to image myself as those people or in their shoes. I couldn’t do it.