Benefits of being sick

  1. I sound very NPRish lady on the phone.
  2. I put in an unproductive day at work and people thank me just for coming in.
  3. I don’t eat anything and don’t really want to.
  4. I’m pretty much expected to knock myself unconscious each night with the drugs typically found in a rural meth lab.
  5. I get a lot more alone time.
  6. I have a newfound empathy for the chronically ill and the underinsured.
  7. I get to talk about the color of my snot with the nice lady at the doctor’s office.
  8. People bring me things like soup and Gatorade and call just to check in. 
  9. I get to sleep all day long and watch LOST in the bouts I do wake up.
  10. I don’t have to feel bad for not putting my contacts in or make-up on all day.